There a plenty of things in adulting that suck. But I want to voice some of my biggest ‘little struggles’, as I am aware some of my audience are new to adulting, so it’s best to set the expectations a little for what’s to come.
Little struggles: Laundry
Do you know how much laundry comes from a week of existing? I live alone, and like many adults (yes, I see you), I don’t throw every t-shirt or pair of trousers to the laundry after 1 wear. I let them get a couple of days in, unless I was sweating that day, or I spilled something on them. But even with this method, the laundry is still full every week.
Albeit it’s not all clothes. There are the towels you use in in your bathroom. Yes! You need to wash those every few weeks. The mats on the floor of the bathroom, gym attire (my only reason to hate working out, is that I know I don’t have enough gym clothes to last 2 weeks). Bedding. They say every 2 weeks is fine, and I will admit, I was doing every 4 weeks until 2 months ago. But the bedding is so big, so what I do now, 1 week my bottom sheet changes, and the next week my duvet and pillow covers get washed. That way, I only change one part of my bedding every week, rather than redoing my whole bed every two weeks, and my laundry is not as full.
You see the mental toll this is? And this is only about laundry. The little struggles are real.
Little struggles: Keeping myself alive
This is to make sure I don’t accidently end my existence. I have to keep myself fed and hydrated. Make sure I can move my body and maintain its necessary functions, performing to the best they can.
I have to keep on top of my health appointments. Eyes, teeth, general organs (heart, livers, kidneys etc). And some of those I don’t get for free with my employer. I don’t have a parent, keeping certain things away from me, so I don’t accidently ingest something. It does sounds silly from an adult, but I was one of those kids that stuck a bead up their nose, without knowing the consequences. I try to stay healthy, because getting sick/the flu is not enjoyable. I hate how helpless I feel when I am alone and unwell. (it’s not enough motivation to get in a relationship, but I do question my life choices).
I go to the gym to keep my strength up, and hope to keep my body moving into in my 70s and 80s. Do you know the labour it takes to plan and prepare 3 nutritious meals a day? It’s horrifying! which is why I meal prep once a week, and have a spreadsheet of meals I like to cook and eat. Because a) I can’t be wasting money on food/recipes I don’t know I will like and b) it takes so long to cook and clean, I would rather batch make it for the week, and give myself more hours to do other things. Don’t even get me about how since I work out a lot, I need to eat more calories to keep up my energy levels, those meals are little struggles that I can’t be bothered with.
Little struggles: Cleaning the house
I am aware people handle this differently. Some people only clean when people from outside are visiting, and others live in a constant state of organised space. You do you, but I am the latter. I personally can’t stand certain areas that I want to be organised, being disorganised. My desk? Can stay messy. My bedroom? Everything has its place. My kitchen cabinets? As long as the right thing is stored in them, I don’t mind the layout.
But even with all this, there is the sweeping, the vacuuming, the wiping and it never ends. I have seen people monetise content on just cleaning every day, which is great for them, but I have 0 interest to do that with my time. So, I set a schedule. Once a week, my bathroom is deep cleaned, and the floors are vacuumed. I would like to deep clean my carpets one day, but that will most likely be when I move out of my house (not any time soon). The last time I mopped my floors was when I moved in, a year ago. Wiping shelves, dusting, dealing with skirting boards, is something I don’t have the mental load for, but its still things that are on my mind anyways.
I do what I can, and make sure my timetable is met, nevertheless. I’ll admit, with this very loose timetable, this does mean my house is normally a 20-minute clean away from being visitor ready. (so perk)
Little struggles: Planning
There is the planning of your own time and then the planning for the possible.
Your own time is how you manage your life with what’s available to you. These are normally more positive and enjoyable things, because who wouldn’t plan fun things for themselves.
The possible are events and moments in your life that can and most likely will happen, but you have 0 idea when. Like your car breaking down. The loss of someone close to you. Change of jobs, house or location. Things that are big in your life, but since they don’t happen a lot in the earlier stages of adulting, they don’t get broadcasted a lot. But, they can happen and do. And I would much rather be better prepared, than have it catch me off guard.
Your own time
It’s not very uncommon to have a diary or a calendar with your time mapped out. Sadly, it becomes very easy to forget plans or have time to rest. Life becomes busier as an adult, even with our ‘freedom’, so time flies by faster and feels more limited. Getting everyone together is a pain, and is harder to organise in shorter time periods. And that’s if you live close to each other, don’t even get me about long-distance friendships. I plan once a year visits with long distance friends, normally 3-5 months in advanced. It sucks we are that busy, but we have our own lives to lead, and as much as it’s healthy to have breaks and peace, you can’t do nothing every weekend. Trust me, it doesn’t feel as good as it might sound.
The possible
Emergency/sinking funds – Having money aside ready to deal with unexpected expenses. These can be related to a home repair, losing your job or a family crisis, and so many other things. Having the stress of finances, on top of whatever you are dealing with is never a good combo.
Emotional preparation – The fragility of life and the power our emotions have on how we function daily, means it’s good to have some control on your emotions. I am not saying, be a robot. Quite frankly the opposite. I have heard accounts of people who have been left alone to grieve AND experience the brutality of having to continue dealing with life, and seeing how it breaks them. Sadly, the world doesn’t stop spinning, when it feels like yours has ended. So, everything outside of you keeps going, and even though you are not ready to move with it, it drags you by force to comply.
Building a network of people you trust, to surround yourself with. Having a Grounding routine, to have a way to cope, in those times when you’re alone, are ways to prepare for these possible moments. Because we won’t always have someone, every second of every day, in our time of need.
The possible are normally difficult topics for humans to handle. It makes us feel like we are accepting the bad stuff, but actually, I think it’s good to have something ready. When things happen to me, I am so grateful to the past version of me who took the time to prepare something (no matter how small). I thank ‘past Rue’ for thinking of me in the future, knowing me well enough to prepare to get me through it.
TL;DR
- Adulting is a pain for so many big things, like global warming, politics and the meaning of life. But there are so many daily little struggles that get on my nerves, that as a child, I did not think about when dreaming of adulting.
- Keeping myself alive and well is very annoying. Why does it take so long to prepare healthy meals? Why does my body need to go to the gym? Why does my immune system seem so fragile during flu season?
- I hate doing chores, yet I need to do them to keep my space presentable. Dishes, sweeping and laundry are all part an unavoidable pain, that I must deal with.
- Planning for the fun and for the scarily possible is something that consumes the thoughts of adults daily. As much as we want to make the most of our time existing, we need to be prepared to handle reality.
