I have shared my general experience of working as a new adult, and I hope that gave you a generic insight to working life. Now, I’m addressing the next level, which is working as an adult, in my demographic. Everyone’s experience will be different, so here is my perspective, based on my life. Though I hope it brings awareness to the little differences, some people can experience from their backgrounds.
Background
I am a black African and my parents brought me to the UK when I was young. They have tried to raise me with the traditions of my birth country, in the culture of the western world. My parents gave me a very traditional name, which contains sounds that aren’t present in the British alphabet. So, I generally go by my middle name, because it’s easier to pronounce, and I have always used that name, even with relatives.
Being of my heritage, it means I am used to different cuisines, and my body is normally adapted to products, tailored to people of my demographic. Being raised in the north of the country, I have grown accustomed to not being around a lot of diversity, and going to great lengths to be around more diverse people. This set me to have the traits I have now, in my adult life, and here is what I have noticed.
My name
My first name is strange to the eye to people who don’t frequently see it. It also is pronounced phonetically, which is something that isn’t too common in the English language. In school, every time first introductions happened, my name was always introduced with “oh I’m really sorry if I get this wrong” or an acceptance that they won’t even say it, and a sad puppy face staring at me. Being in the north meant there was little or no diversity in the classroom, so it was easy to know it was me. This still happens as an adult, especially in my ever-developing career.
I’m not complaining that my name sucks for people to pronounce. However, I want to put something out here and even though its not universal, I just want to bring awareness to this:
“I know my name is different. I know you WILL say it wrong, the pronunciation is not in your alphabet or vocabulary. So, it would be incredibly unrealistic of me to put that expectation on you, to get it right. Please stop apologising for getting it wrong and please say my name.”
When I first started learning English, and I would say words incorrectly, people would laugh and correct me. I won’t laugh, because I know how it feels, but I will correct you. However, I will respect you so much more, if you at least try to say it.
Also, there are times someone has asked “can’t I call you something else” or “why don’t you change your name tag to show your easier name”. That’s my name, and you shall respect it, like I do yours. Besides, I’ve noticed people avoid talking to me because of my name. Unless I really want to talk and be involved, I’ll happily sit in the background. I’m normally uninterested anyways.
Location
Where I live and work, it’s more northern than where I grew up. Diversity has improved where I spent my childhood, but it’s still taking time to come to where I am now. For me, as someone used to little or no diversity, the scene around me is common. However, not everyone was raised in the north, and those who come up for the job, get a big shock. It can be a little hard to adapt to.
What I mainly struggled to adapt to is the distance to get anywhere out of my area. It’s 1 hour to the nearest train station on a mainline, by car and by train. It’s 1 hour to the nearest motorway. It makes commuting so difficult, and honestly feels more isolating. To add to that to there was the increased cost in living, which made travelling unlikely. It’s difficult, because to get access to my cultural products for my lifestyle, I’ll need to commute long distances to get them.
Lifestyle
Because of my heritage I was raised with non-local cuisines and products. I’ve noticed that where there is diversity, small amenities become tailored to specific demographics. For example, I studied in Nottingham and I frequently visited an African food shop in the centre of the city. This helped me source products of my heritage and upbringing. The further away a community is from diversity, the greater the distance is to the nearest shop. So, if I tend to do a trip to a diverse city I’ll do a mini grocery shop to bring my products up to where I live.
My hair is not the same as the majority of the population, so I’ll use different hair products and styling methods. Also, I would need specifically trained stylists. To minimise damage to my hair, I use protective styles, where I purchase my extensions online, and do them myself. It can vary from hours to days, because I don’t have access to a community that can help. I purchase online as there isn’t a shop that can provide what I’m looking for. The variety also isn’t as great, since not many UK sellers have an online presence.
Being an adult is tough for everyone. Becoming an adult in a less diverse community, has built my resilience and my adaptability. If a less diverse community, is struggling to make the change and adapt to having a diverse community, it feels unwelcoming to other demographics. I believe, this is what determines if different demographics stay beyond their contracted employment, in those areas. I understand its difficult, I just wanted to provide the perspective of a different demographic, in a low diversity area.
Moral of my story
- Respect my name – it’s part of my identity, and I don’t appreciate the lack of respect
- Location means a lot– research where you next going. For a short term visit anything is fine. In the long term, check if its something you can handle
- Observing the surroundings – seeing a shop with my kind of products is so exciting. Seeing any person of my demographic is exciting.
- This is my perspective and my opinion -These aren’t facts, just my views.
