Adulting: 1 year review

I have been adulting for officially a year now. Well, I have been working for officially a year. This is my review of my past year, and some lessons to learn from the experience of an adult.

Read the Terms and Conditions

No matter what your signing up for, a new housing contract, credit card or booking a holiday, read those T&Cs. You need to know what you’re entitled to if anything goes pair-shaped, and believe me its more frequent than you think. If it seems too much to read the T&Cs for everything, here is a basic list of T&Cs, to definitely read:

I didn’t read the contract for my nightmare house, and that’s why it’s my nightmare house. I ended up losing thousands of pounds to a place that I didn’t even stay in for a year. When I left said nightmare house, and cancelled my wifi, and lost £140. I thought it said there was no exit fee, but I made the mistake of not reading the small print properly. Thanks to these two events, I make sure anything I put a lot of money in, or make a long term commitment to, I read the terms of having it.

Things will get hard, but its ok, as you will get through them

As a young naïve teen, I though adult life was easy breezy, and that I could plan it. Turns out you can’t, and the universe will throw whatever it wants to you, and you just have to take it, because that’s life. However, no matter how bad things get, you can always pull yourself through. Sometimes, you will need help from a support network, but you will always come through the other end, and that’s ok.

I’m not saying you have to stay optimistic every moment of your life. That is impossible. But, just remind yourself that you won’t be stuck where it hurts forever. It might be a while, but take each day as it is, and treasure the little wins. It won’t resolve itself immediately, but you will be happier in the long term if you take it in small steps.

Everyone has mental health

We all do. Don’t convince yourself that you don’t. Your mental health is just the same as your physical health. Instead of going to the gym to keep it in shape, you just need to do whatever makes you feel peace. What makes the time fly by because you’re having fun? Do it, and frequently.

Up until this first year of adulting, I was sure I didn’t have bad mental health. Then life just seemed to get worse, and I no longer felt motivated to keep myself physically healthy, and I hit a slump. Doing simple things, such as getting out of bed was hard. Being motivated to go to work, was draining, so much so that I had to reduce my workload in some cases.

Everyone has mental health, and its your job to look after your own. I started therapy in this 1^st year, and started doing things that brought me peace. Sharing my concerns and hearing a 3^rd party perspective on it, brought so much clarity, and really helped with addressing things. I didn’t realise how long I had neglected myself, until I started giving myself the attention and love that I needed. Give yourself what you need.

I have no idea what I want to do

I actually graduated from my degree and got a job, without knowing what I wanted to do. After 1 year of adulting, I still have no idea what I want to do. And that’s ok.

Nevertheless, I have spent this year learning these facts about me:

1. I don’t want to be a bench chemist (but I knew that before I finished my degree)
2. I want to lead and be in role of control (not dictator, but manager/director control)
3. I want compensation that reflects my work input (don’t we all)
4. I want a job that challenges my creative side, rather than my technical side

None of these are a dig at my current job, I knew what I was going in for. But, I have spent this year learning these lessons about myself. Now for future career paths, I can explore these avenues, and we’ll see what else I find about myself.

So, this was my 1 year review of being a full time adult who works. I have learnt lessons and made big wins. Here is to year 2, and whatever it wants to bring to me.

Moral of my story:

• T&Cs– These are important. They are a pain, but are important. If you are in pain, you check if its an important pain (appendix) or not so important (old age twinge). This is an appendix level kind of pain, address it!
• I made mistakes– So many mistakes, but that’s what adulting is. We all don’t know what we are doing, we are literally living in trail and error mode.
• It will be ok– Chant this in your mind, can help make the tragedy a little less tragic. It won’t be like this forever.
• Work on your mental health– Just like you go to the gym, do whatever makes your mental state workout and feel good.
• You need therapy– You don’t need a licensed therapist, you just need to talk. Whether it a friend or a licensed person, just talk.
• I still don’t know what want to be when I grow up– And that’s perfectly fine, because its not like I’m stuck in this job forever, so I have options and I can explore. So, it’s ok that I don’t know. It makes the adventure and search more exciting.