It can seem really difficult to believe that work actually wants to help you, when you’re not well but most employers do. I previously did a post about how I started working on my mental health. Now this is how my work handled the change.
The beginning
Previously, I was a huge people pleaser which worked in my employers favour, for the first 6 months. This because I would over promise, and still deliver, at the detriment of myself. I basically was working more of my hours without recording them, telling myself that I’m indispensable. That was still the same role that I am in right now, I was totally playing myself. I took on so much, and my manager always asked me “are you sure you can take this on?”. She was very concerned for my well-being, but I would pull it out the bag, she had no reason to doubt.
It did not help that when I got praised for every time I achieved something, I felt valued. It was a viscous cycle which was constantly forcing me to over work, for minimal return. My contract does not compensate for overtime, so I was just working for no gain and all my detriment.
Nearly 6 months into starting my job, I had a revelation which made me realise that I had been living my life for everyone, but not me. So, once I had that moment, my mindset shifted about life, and here is how I broke the news to work.
My Manager
My manager was amazing. As my manager she has a duty of care for me, so I know I can trust her with information, that can affect my work. The first thing I did was tell her I was feeling burnt out and that things had changed in my personal life. I did not tell her exactly what happened, but a very basic outline which she could empathise with. She was generous enough to tell me that she trusts me, and that if I needed to I could take time off. I did not abuse that power, but even sharing that little information with her, I felt heard and appreciated, and I didn’t need to do any additional work to be valued.
The next thing she did was address my burn out. She told me to write out a list of all the jobs I currently have ongoing, and we sat down and checked which was beneficial to my development, and which was not a priority, and which could be shared with others. My list shrunk from 13 jobs to 5 main focus points, and it was a breath of fresh air. She advised me that, ‘taking opportunities is good, but you need to assess their benefit to your development.’ This is good advice, and one I have used every time someone offers me work.
She handled this incredibly well, and it reinforced the respect I have for her. Honestly, I would say she is the role model of managers, and I’m so lucky she was my first manager.
Managing everyone’s expectations
So, I had spent nearly 6 months, over promising and still delivering so everyone in my department, knew I was an efficient employee. It didn’t help my manager also snag my praises the whole time. So, when I wanted to stop overworking, it meant I had to manage people’s expectations.
First thing I started doing is adding another week to deadlines that weren’t specified. Sometimes, when someone offers you a job, if it isn’t high priority they won’t give you a deadline. Depending on what they are asking, I have started adding another week or two to the deadline I offer. This will account for the current work I am doing already, plus any unforeseen urgent matters that pop-up. Not everyone puts meetings weeks in advanced, so you got to account for those too.
Another way to manage expectations, is using your ‘No’. It’s very handy. I don’t use it all the time, because there are some jobs that seem like an amazing opportunity. But there are some people in the world who think because you are at the bottom of the barrel, you will take any work that comes at you, not matter how boring. Just saying no is good enough. You don’t owe them a reason, but if you want one, then tell them the truth. That’s the best option.
Changed my mindset
I took a good look in the mirror and came to the conclusion that ‘Life is too short to give to work’. When I started my degree, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. When I got this job, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I still don’t know as of this post, but I know I don’t want to work until I’m 65. So, why should I overwork myself, when I don’t get any extra compensation for it?
I have now changed my mindset, and I know its grim, but if I were to die today, my department would still continue. So, I’m not that indispensable, but the people in my life would be devastated, and I would die not having done the things that give my life value and meaning. And that’s a petrifying thought. I’m happy doing just over the bear minimum, whilst exploring beneficial opportunities, for my development.
Moral of my story:
- You don’t need to over work to be valued– The company will value you for your efforts, and unless they compensate you more for the extra value you add, don’t over work.
- Tell your manager/supervisor the basics – they control your work-load, they also have some pastoral care for you. Tell them the extra details they need to be compassionate
- Manage your expectations of yourself – Define how you want your employer to see you, and work to that level. Don’t be optimistic, be real and understand your boundaries, limits and drive
- Manage others expectations– Tell them no. Give them extended deadlines. If they try to drop work on you, “because it’s only small and their too busy”- know that you don’t have to, and that it’s normally not small.
- Work is just work– Interpret this statement as you wish
