Welcome to 2025, I’m so glad you made it. This is not a very peppy post for the new year, but I think it’s ok to change the tone a little. Over the past 3 years of navigating adulthood, I have been working on balancing my ability to be selfless and selfish. It is a hard balance to manage, especially if you were raised to always be giving. But it’s a necessary balance, because you can get down even when you are doing so many good deeds. So here is how I can tell I am feeling mentally down, and how I manage it. Hopefully, this can help you from your perspective.
Signs that you’re feeling mentally down
As we get used to our day to day lives and routines, we settle into a natural rhythm. That is a natural state of harmony in yourself. However, when we get knocked off that rhythm there are signs that start to show.
- You might start to pull back from people (if you’re naturally an outgoing person)
- You might start struggling with your energy levels (you might be choosing to stay indoors more or not have the energy to prepare nutritious meals or sleep poorly)
- You might start making decisions that seem out of character (impulse buying)
- You might let things go that you normally care about (organisation, cleanliness etc.)
- This list is not exhaustive, this is to give an idea of signs to look out for
What can cause feelings of being mentally down
This can be done by anything. It’s just that most of the time you don’t know until you see the signs listed above, and then you do some thinking. A little hindsight can go a long way, and it can help you identify the cause. Maybe talking to someone (either you know or licensed help or a stranger) might help. Either way, we can’t always know straight away what’s causing it. It just shows up through the signs.
Maybe coming back to work from the winter break might have caused it. Or starting the new year has made you realise the passing of another year, or the loved ones who didn’t come in with us. Heck, a minor inconvenience in the day can have massive repercussions. We don’t know. How our body responds to certain stimuli is magical and unpredictable sometimes. What we can do is become aware and make some changes.
Example
For example:
A few years back, I ended a friendship that just wasn’t working out. At first I felt the relief of not having to worry about the interaction, and I thought all was well. Two weeks after that was the week before Christmas where work had slowed down and I was getting ready for the break. I was exhausted. So tired, I was struggling to get out of bed and to move. It was strange, and I was so confused. I was also struggling to go gym or keep on top of my nutrition.
At that time, I was still in therapy and when I brought it up, they suggested that I was mentally down (not a technical or psych term btw). For the time leading to Christmas, my brain was on overtime trying to get me through ending a friendship, and the Christmas events that normally happen. All without showing what I was going through (that was a coping mechanism of mine). So, when I reached this window of time to rest, it’s like my mental state just shutdown because it needed a break.
This was an extreme moment, as in hindsight, there were smaller signs that showed I wasn’t fine, that I ignored. My room got messier (I am the kind of person to remove clutter). I was purchasing more pick me ups, like coffees and snacks multiple times a day. And the weekends were spent in my pyjamas, watching tv and barely eating anything beyond bread a butter. So, if I had picked up on those earlier signs, and taken more time for myself (maybe some annual leave), that week of rotting might not have been so extreme for me. But we live and we learn.
How to manage feeling mentally down
The way to stop rotting and shutting down is to get back to your rhythm. Which is so hard, since you obviously fell off and now you need to get back on. So here are some suggestions to make it easier. Just remember, it’s not going to be easy, the body loves comfort, but it does love the rhythm so much more, you just got to remind it.
- If you pulled back for social interactions, start off small – maybe 1-1 with your closest people, or something quieter/less public like a walk
- Make cooking nutritious food easier. Soups are easy, and you can throw in tonnes of veggies that make it nutritious. Add a salad to your burger or donor wrap for some veg. Or purchase a healthier snack alternative (if you like them)
- Get out and get active. Short walks. In house dance party to your favourite songs. In house concert (The Eras tour is on Disney+ just in case you need to know). Go gym for 10 minutes (if you hate it after 10 minutes leave, but at least you went there and worked out something).
- Remove some clutter (not all, but some). Each little bit makes the room clearer, and hopefully your mind.
- Do whatever, makes you feel peaceful (colouring in, reading) – just don’t rot for too long, it’s not as helpful.
There is no wrong way to recover (other than rotting and anything self-destructive or harmful to others). We just need to try to get back to our normal harmony, as that’s where the peace is. It can take some time, depending on how hard you are taking it. But that’s ok, because adulting is a marathon not a sprint, especially when it comes from recovering from feeling mentally down.
TL;DR
- Sometimes life can knock you of your mental bike and it’s ok to struggle to get back on.
- The key is realising when you have been knocked down, and slowly working up the ability to get back on it.
- It’s not easy, but it’s also very far from impossible. So, you got this!
- Even though the new year seems to bring so much positive energy and hope, it’s ok to not feel that right now. Pick yourself up in your own time and reach out for support.
