This title is worded specifically, to make you think a bit more optimistically about growing up. To answer it simply, it is a challenge to be an adult. People aren’t joking when they say, “Adulthood is the worst hood”. The thing is, you don’t know how bad something is, until you experience something else and compare it. Existing as an adult, regardless of what path you take, is going to be an interesting ride. Some parts feel like bliss, the other parts feel like the trenches. Here are the things I have learnt about growing up, and I’ll let you decide on how easy adulting has been so far. (Note: this is purely based on my experience, and others’ stories will differ).
How easy is it: The good times
In the good times, growing up is manageable. You feel like you are getting to grips with the whole adulting thing. You see a savings goal, career change, or buying an air fryer as a major event. The satisfaction you get from living in a clean space, with no chores to do. There is a sense of appreciation of the life around you and all the moments that have led you there. It’s a peaceful feeling to experience.
I feel this when I am riding the wave of life on a high and neutral state in the wave. There are no obstacles that can knock me off my pedestal which is high on life.
How easy is it: The bad times
In these times, it feels difficult maybe even unbearable, like you are on a steep incline on a hill. In hindsight, you can see that it was a steep struggle, but the progress and achievement you made was great. You feel like things keep knocking you down. A bad day, an off mood, a weird sense that something within you is not right. It can ruin how you interpret the environment around you, and can knock you off that peace I mentioned earlier.
It’s annoying, because you look at the good times, and you feel like you’re struggling. It feels like you might have taken a step back in your ability to cope with adulting. It feels like you want to reach out for help, but it also doesn’t feel like anyone would understand the struggle. Though there are always people you can turn to, don’t forget that.
How easy is it: How I manage adulting?
Therapy
Not everyone will need to seek therapy, but it can be beneficial to have a third party to just chat to. They tend to not have as strong of an emotional connection with you and can be more impartial than friends. When businesspeople say, ‘they pay to outsource tasks’ this is where I channel this knowledge. I do have friends, but I don’t need them to have all the ongoings of my life, so I outsource that service, and it’s great (for me).
Attending counselling has meant I have come to some conclusions about handling adulthood and life generally:
- Don’t chase happiness, search for peace – Looking for constant happiness hard, and then, maintaining that level of happiness is harder. So, I don’t strive to look for happiness, I just want to find a state of internal balance which allows me to withstand the environment of existing.
- A sense of neutrality is better than fearing the end of the highs or waiting for the lows to end – Life is a constant wave of highs and lows. Experiencing the highs allows for fear to come in of their end. And experiencing the lows, leaves you begging for them to end. However, when you’re in a state of neutrality, nothing is too great nor too destructive. Just coasting in life at a manageable pace and enjoying all it brings because it’s the natural experience.
Social Life
Having a social life does not mean you are out every night, or hanging out with people all the time (in my mind). It just means that you have a healthy balance of events, and people to talk to. Also getting the chance to talk to various people from time to time is good for brain (is my logic)
- Reach out to friends – Chatting to people, even once a week via text, is better than the absolute silence of talking to yourself in your solitude for long periods of time. (Note: I say long periods of time)
- Embrace being alone – This is why I gave my little note before. There is a difference being lonely and being alone. Lonely (in my head) means there is no one you can surround yourself with, and no one who will think to contact you. That’s tough. Being alone is a choice you make occasionally, because we can’t always be around people. Being a lone is also a good thing. You get to find out more about you and what you like.
How easy is adulting?
In some ways it does feel easy, I can admit to that.
I have routines set, so then I can feel grounded when things get rough. I have found ways to stay active, both with friends and alone. It’s definitely nice to have someone to go with, but you can’t heavily rely on them to help you show up. You need to show up for yourself too.
I have ways to entertain myself, such as audiobooks. Audible is so handy, because I can read a book and clean my bedroom at the same time. (clicking on this link and purchasing something, could result in me earning a commission).
Lastly, I appreciate the little wins. This is like ‘wow, I wasn’t feeling it today, but I still managed to find the energy to eat healthy today’ moments. Or ‘I feel better now that my room is clean. I will not do more work, I will reward myself with the clean space’. These reminders, allow me to enjoy all moments, good, bad and neutral. Because time is flying by, and if I don’t acknowledge things (no matter how small), I will spend time focussing on the struggles of adulthood and not appreciating the journey it actually is.
TL;DR
- So, what do you think? How easy is adulting?
