“Life is about the journey, not the destination”, and all that jazz. Sadly, it is about the journey, because more often than not, you will reach the “destination”, and then create a new one to get to. It’s not terrible, it’s just us humans trying to find value/purpose/meaning to our existence. It’s inevitable and unavoidable, no matter what the goals are, you will make new ones when you achieve the old ones. This means we have to appreciate that handling change in adulthood, is a part of adulting.
I like to think that my goal is at end of my life, I’ll reflect and see the weird, wacky things I did and experienced. And I want to feel like I made the most of my time, doing things I enjoyed, helping those I cared for, and feeling like I was authentically me, the whole time. And I will be thankful for the insufferable change that kept coming in my life, that led me to creating those memories.
Change is inevitable
I have said this in several posts. And I do sound like a broken record, but I have to remind myself that frequently. Sometimes, I get so comfy that I don’t want to move. But change comes, to give me a new challenge/adventure/experience. And experiencing that change sucks so much, but on the other side of it, is the thought “I wouldn’t have experienced that if I had stayed where I was, and I am so glad I didn’t fight it”.
The weird thrill in life is that it is unpredictable. And these past few weeks I have done a few posts on creating plans in your life. But I have also said you have to leave some flexibility for change. That’s because you can’t predict what change will bring, when it comes. You also can’t predict when change will come. But for something that is so unpredictable, it’s very normal to expect it to make an appearance. So, how can you handle it?
Be open and flexible
I spent the majority of 2023 trying to move jobs. I was trying to force change to come to me, by chasing it. By the time I reached Sept 2023, I was exhausted so I stopped my search and accepted that I was going to be in my team, for a good while (about 2 years). Literally, 2 weeks after that, an opportunity came up that I was encouraged to apply for by my team. 3 weeks later I was offered that job, which I started in the new year. I wasn’t intending to apply, because I thought it would be like my other attempts. Yet, the change came to me and instead of fighting it, I was open to looking into it.
Being open to it won’t mean it’s guaranteed, but there can be a lot more friction if you try to reject it. Someone once told me, “You can accept a change and experience it, and if it’s not for you, change it again“. When most change happens, it’s not permanent, it just exposes you to something new. And that new thing can expose you to something else, which could be better than where you originally started. Having that flexible mindset about change, can make the transitions less daunting and make it easier to be open to change. It’s a little cycle.
Have a routine (to help handling change?)
This sounds very opposite to what I just said about being open and flexible to change. But by a routine, I mean having a sense of stability. Sometimes when change happens it can throw us off a lot, and you need something ground yourself. This grounding means you keep a sense of stability in the chaos of change. And hopefully it means you have a way to help cope with the change. To understand how to set up a routine, check out this post.
Starting a new job is overwhelming (even though I have done that 3 times in 3 years). I make sure I still go the gym 3 times a week, complete my meal prep and try to keep the blog going. In that routine there is time for me to zone out, if necessary, but the things I care about I don’t lose in my adjustment to a new environment. Keeping this routine, keeps my mind free to adjust to the change, as it’s already ingrained as a habit for me. So, I only change the hours I am working, rather than uprooting everything in personal life to adjust to this new job.
It’s ok to hate it and not enjoy the process
Even if you have a routine sorted and you are accepting of the inevitability of change, it can still suck to experience. And that’s perfectly fine. These practises and hints I have suggested, they do not remove the sense of overwhelm that comes with change. They just make it a little easier to handle and experience. But it goes without saying, handling change is hard. It’s reasonable to feel upset, scared and confused on what to do. It’s perfectly normal. I’m sure a lot more people go through it, than what they actually let on and it’s annoying. Imagine what it would be like if people were more open to sharing that they are scared of change. But I just want you to know, even with my helpful tips, it’s ok to not feel like you’re not handling it well.
Before I started this new job, there were a lot of teething problems. They lasted 2 months, hence why I started in the new year. Those issues had me questioning (and at some point, regretting) if this was the right thing to do. I could have dropped out of the application process. I could offer to do work for both places, since I would be harming their resource levels. But I didn’t do either, but the process of going through that change, was not enjoyable. It was a terrible experience, and maybe my workplace needs a better system to transfer staff, but I found that period of change difficult.
Last Thing
I am glad to be on the other side of it now, and handling the change in my own routine now. Even though I have experienced change so early in the year, it does not mean I will avoid it throughout the rest of 2024. I haven’t looked into any research of how often change happens in a year for an individual, but I am ok with accepting its inevitability.
The TL:DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read)
- Change is inevitable – Hahaha and that’s the most constant thing in life
- Appreciate that change will happen – Don’t fight it, let it guide you to the next chapter, and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to stay (evaluate the need for a change using this post)
- Keep grounded where you can – Whatever makes you feel like you have a grasp on your own life, keep that going in a moment of change.
- You will hate it, and that’s fine – We don’t have to love everything about living, and change is one of those things that comes with the packages of being alive.
- Good luck in the future change events that will come to you this year.
